It’s Not Child Rearing It’s Crowd Control

I told Callie today that we deserve parent of the year awards which was especially funny given the state of affairs in our home. I've heard that one child isn't to bad. We'll never know. We started with two. For us it's been crowd control all along. We don't let the kids go to the car and wait for us anymore. The last time we did we went out and my dear, sweet little girls were punching each other engaged in a full on brawl in their church dresses. That's our redneck roots coming through right there. Today I heard Aubrey scream. Apparently Devin had punched her right after body slamming Alyssa. Asked "what are you doing?" He said, "hurting my sisters."

Last night Jenna threw a fit because Callie cut her finger nails. She went to bed in hysterics. As a father it's my duty to comfort my children so I started a pillow fight. Callie doesn't approve but Jenna thought it was funny and calmed down after she whipped me with a blanket. Something about taking out aggression on your dad brings joy to the soul.

Devin's learning his letters. I was working on a graphic today - a $. Devin comes along and says nice 'assssss'. Callie comes in and sits down and Devin tells her, 'Dad has a nice assssss'. I figure it must be all that biking. I am pretty impressive these days.

Devin has figured out manipulation but doesn't do a great job at it. He tells us, "if you don't give me candy I'll throw up."

Today he plugged the sink, turned on the water and got all wet. He wasn't happy about being wet so he came and told Callie that he needed his clothes washed. Callie told him "no you don't." Luckily she's a mom and deduced that wet clothes means water. She discovered the water just as it was flooding the counter top. Another few minutes and we'd be wishing we'd opted for flood insurance.

I tell Devin he's a little bit evil. He's says "yes I am." My mother thinks that I'm a terrible father and that Devin will turn out to be a sociopath if I keep telling him that. I say, "I can't print most of the things you told us as kids or my blog wouldn't be very family friendly at all."

I'm reminded each day that we love our children individually, but as a group I think we need to get get some riot gear. If you see tear gas coming from the windows you'll know that it's Sunday morning and the WWF would give anything to put our kids on pay per view.