Tagged: Funny

My Morning Coffee

Plenty of us working stiffs here in the United States wake up each morning a bit groggy as we prepare for another day as a cog in the grind. That means coffee is the most widely traded agriculture commodity in the world. Inject hot air, sugar and fat into coffee and a 25 cent cup of truck stop pick me up becomes a $6 Starbucks masterpiece. Nestle saw an 800% increase in profits with the Nespresso. It's the same coffee but if you put it in a little cup, make it easy to prepare and add a bit of flavoring the commodity becomes a luxury. The proof of our love for coffee is the price we pay.

I'm guilty. I pay just as much for my morning pick me up. I drink it every morning. It wakes me up. It keeps me healthy. It powers my rides.

My secret is that I've never drunk coffee, but I do have a 'Mormon' version that I feel fine sharing with my even my youngest kids.

The measurements are estimates. I end up guessing most of the time. Put the ingredients in the blender in the ord...

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Kids these days

When I was a kid we watched TV on a 20" screen that weighed 600 pounds, output 480i (the antithesis of HD TV) and only provided very fuzzy, analog network channels. Howe we wished for a big screen TV. They were the size of a VW bug, 480i and still only provided fuzzy analog. Of course you could overcome analog and watch whatever you wanted once VCRs came out. My friend's dad bet on Betamax. Some days I look at my collection of HD-DVDs and I know how he must have felt.

Now that I am grown and I have children I wanted to be sure to fulfill all their wishes and dreams. We have big screen TVs. There's a 1080p 60" plasma in the Home Theater with 7.1 surround sound. It's hooked to a Blu-ray, X-Box, Wii and an Apple TV. You can watch pretty much anything using iTunes, Netflix, Hulu or Amazon (except for new seasons of Firefly and Stargate Universe - anyone want to pick those up and start again?). Upstairs there's a 42" LED Smart TV in case we need to watch the n...

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Great Ride Up Blacksmith Fork Canyon

Went to Hardware Ranch with Mason and Jeff tonight and had a great time - no snakes. I thought we did pretty good - 44 miles in sub 2 hours. However, a quick check of Strava will deflate one's ego rather quickly. Within the borders of Cache Valley live some pretty amazing cyclists.

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Compensating

During our trip to Southern California I realized that it’s not just Disneyland that is a wonderland, separate and distinct from the rest of the world, but most of Southern California. We pulled up to a stoplight in sporting the minivan complete with roof rack when seven Lamborghinis and one Ferrari pulled up kitty corner to me. I was thinking to myself, “boy I bet that guy feels stupid.” Ferrari is the Saturday car. Lamborghinis are for Sunday. Everyone knows that. As proof I saw several more Lamborghinis on the road but all the Ferraris I saw were parked. Driving down the Pacific Coast highway we passed a Mclaren dealership, a Ferrari dealership, a Tesla dealership, a Porsche dealership, and Aston Martin and several places that had clusters of various kinds of exotic cars for which if you don’t show up in a started exotic car (Ferrari, Lamborghini, Porsche) not only will the salesman not speak to you, but they will call the cops.

I cut off a Bentley and felt better.

One place where t...

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XMLHttpRequest status 0 and responseText is empty

I ran across a problem in the javascript for the OER Glue mashup process today that surprised me. We're using backbone.js and so I had constructed a login form via one of the views. When the form was submitted I would create a session object and then attempt to save that to the server. The problem was that the ajax request would immediately fail before the server returned anything and the XMLHttpRequest status was 0 and the responseText was empty. It took me way to long to realize that the submit button was cause the form to attempt to submit and since the form lacked an action attribute it couldn't submit anywhere and the request would fail. Changing to solves the problem. However, doing so also means the user can't hit enter to submit the form. Instead leave the in place and return false from the method that handles the request or call event.preventDefault().

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I Have One Quadrillion Dollars

Zimbabwe was the first country to issue a 100 Trillion dollar bill. I have ten which makes me a Quadrillionaire:

Each bill is about 15 x 7.5 centimeters so 112.5 sq centimeters. That's 1.12500 × 10 16 square nanometers (NM). The diameter of a gold atom is .288 nanometers so it would take 3.90625 x 10 18 gold atoms to cover the bill. 1 trillion is 1x1012. Each bill is worth 100 trillion dollars - 1x1014 dollars which doesn't give us enough quite enough dollars to equal the number of atoms required to cover the bill.

If we go strictly based on size and attempt to cover the bill with gold atoms a single atom thick, Zimbabwe is the first country to ever use a standard where each of their dollars is worth 40000 atoms of gold. 1 gram of gold is about 3x1021 atoms.

Now don't I feel rich.

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I Spent My Day With Hot, Young Girls

Well, at the first of the day they were cold young girls then we went to Bear Lake and it was pretty hot. My wife is girl's camp director which means she gets to spend 6 months planning for a week long event. She is really good at what she does and it always goes off splendidly. I'm sure they'd love for her to do it again another year, but I knocked her up. (We're having a boy).

I volunteered to help. Of course I was careful about how I volunteered and chose the day they spent at the beach playing in the water instead of the day they do a five mile hike. Volunteering is hard I know, but sometimes you have to sacrifice. Part of my job was to make sure no one died. I figured that was a pretty easy task.

No one died.

However, I came awfully close when towards the end of our excursion I was talked into riding on the boat (aka suicide machine) one of the guys (Paul) brought up. I thought it was just one of those guy bonding things where he drives us out and shows off this aw...

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What is in my Pants?

I have three daughters. They are moody and emotional but relatively non-violent unless they are playing with dolls together in which case they fight like cats. It actually reminds me of the news the day after Thanksgiving. Some woman has to have the toy, dress, whatever and decks some other woman. I guess they never grow out of it.

Devin is different. His approach to violence is far more, well, violent. He screams at his sisters, "I hate you!". At least he used to. We threatened to feed him soap so now he says, "I hate ...., I don't like it when you do that." I've been trying to teach him to say, "you vex my soul!"

He's the first of our kids to make guns out of anything he can find and he frequently 'shoots' his sisters and tells them he's going to 'kill them'. We don't let him watch anything but the Disney channel. I've not taken him shooting and don't own a gun. There's just something in the DNA that comes ...

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Men in Tights

My MacBook died today. When you write code for a living that really sucks. Then I ran out of M&Ms. That sucks a lot too.

Snow be damned when everything else falls apart you simply must ride so I and Joel headed up Left Hand Fork in a spring blizzard because, well, after you get dressed up in tights there's no going back.

When we parked the truck the snow was falling pretty hard. The sky was darkening. It was getting cold. We had driven all that way so turning back wasn't an option.

Further and further we ascending, snow attempting to drive us back to the warmth of the truck, but by hell we were men in tights and guys with that level of resolve don't turn back.

Then the weather cleared and we did what any self-respecting guy would do we kept going higher and higher. Time finally forced us to turn back and in a way time was finally on our side. Not long into our decent the snow returned for revenge and our epic spring ride began. Unable to feel our fingers we gave up on u...

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Doggie Shed

We're visiting my parents in Idaho for the weekend so that the kids can go to my grandmother's house to hunt Easter eggs. It's a long story that involves who can be in town when and cousins that are travelling to Texas and stuff.

Anyway, the kids spent the day playing in the yard with the neighborhood dogs and begging me, "Please, please, please" can we get a dog and me saying I'd rather have surgery to remove and intestinal blockage. I'm sure someday my kids will have lots of animals and think that their father still has that same blockage which is why he's so uptight.

Anyway, it reminded me again of doggie sheds which is an odd thing that I would have never thought of unless Devin came in and started talking about them. I have no idea why.

He likes to talk a lot. So much in fact that I wonder where he gets all the words. He's not great at distinguishing between 'd' and 't' which is sort of the point of this rambling.

He comes in t...

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Uses for banana

My two year old son has picked up an interesting habit of using 'banana' like the f-bomb. "I hate that! Banana you!"

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Merry Christmas

Santa's up a bit late this year (every year actually). Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

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Callie Found This…

We're using this to teach our kids Chinese. Kind of funny how a word in one language sounds so much like words in another language:

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Implicit multipart emails using Ruby on Rails and ActionMailer won’t work

I've been beating my head against the wall trying to figure out why html emails from my Rails Engine are sent out as plain text ie the email shows up with all the html tags visible. Turns out there is an issue in Rails 2.3.2:

https://rails.lighthouseapp.com/projects/8994/tickets/2263-rails-232-breaks-implicit-multipart-actionmailer-tests. For now I'm just setting my emails to html, but I'm hoping to find either a monkey patch or a Rails update that fixes the issue

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Ruby gems and “Couldn’t get release_id, upload failed?”

I've been experimenting with Ruby gems over the past few weeks. I use a couple of other gems to make the process easier including rubyforge, jeweler and newgem.

Jeweler has a rake task 'rubyforge:release' that uploads your gem for you. The problem was that it would timeout and give me "Couldn't get release_id, upload failed?". I assumed that I had configured something wrong so I tried to upload the file directly to rubyforge. That didn't work either so I assumed (wrongly) that my project had something wrong with it. I was about to give up when I decided to check my gem size. It was 100MB!

Somehow I was packaging the gem inside itself on each release and it had grown into a beast. So if your release is timing out check your gem size and make sure it isn't going nuts.

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Conversations With Devin

Today my two year old had this conversation with my wife: Devin: I want juice. Callie: How about milk. Devin: How about juice. Callie: How about milk. Devin: How about juice. Callie: How about milk. Devin: How about I ask dad.

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Dude, it’s 420

Today is 4/20. That is significant for two reasons. One is that it is my parent's wedding anniversary. My dad likes to get license plates with significant numbers. For years the plate on our van was 11111. Later it was 1701 (any Star Trek fans recognize that number?). When my parents got a new car it was time for a new license plate and a new number. My dad snagged 420 when it came up because of it's relation to their wedding day.

Then funny things started to happen. As they drove down the road kids would honk, give them peace signs and cheer as they passed. At gas stations random youth would pose by my parent's car to get their picture taken. It was a year before my dad was having a conversation with one of my more colorful cousins and told him about the situation. My cousin busted up laughing and then gave my dad the lowdown on 420.

His plate now reads 204.

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Dude, it’s 420

Today is 4/20. That is significant for two reasons. One is that it is my parent's wedding anniversary. My dad likes to get license plates with significant numbers. For years the plate on our van was 11111. Later it was 1701 (any Star Trek fans recognize that number?). When my parents got a new car it was time for a new license plate and a new number. My dad snagged 420 when it came up because of it's relation to their wedding day.

Then funny things started to happen. As they drove down the road kids would honk, give them peace signs and cheer as they passed. At gas stations random youth would pose by my parent's car to get their picture taken. It was a year before my dad was having a conversation with one of my more colorful cousins and told him about the situation. My cousin busted up laughing and then gave my dad the lowdown on 420.

His plate now reads 204.

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Count is broken in Rails 2.3.2

After upgrading to Rails 2.3.2 I started getting this error: Mysql::Error: You have an error in your SQL syntax; check the manual that corresponds to your MySQL server version for the right syntax to use near '*)

It turns out that the 'count' method is broken for 'has_many through association collection with named scope'. Here's a link to the bug report:

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Joel With Coffee

Don't let him fool ya. Here's Joel with a cup of coffee at the last OCW conference:

Joel Duffin strikes

Everyone needs a little pick me up.

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A Couch

This is a couch: img_0183

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Super Cheese

This is the most impressive cheese ever:

Super Cheese

Each serving has 1176 calories with 11 servings per container which means this thing has 12,936 calories.

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The Pro Bikers Don’t do This

I keep my bike on the trainer in my office during the winter. My son found a new use for my Madone: img_4035.

It's just a guess but I bet the pros don't use sippy cups.

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The Pro Bikers Don’t do This

I keep my bike on the trainer in my office during the winter. My son found a new use for my Madone: img_4035.

It's just a guess but I bet the pros don't use sippy cups.

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House plans that look good in the snow

It's snowing in Logan again and so in my current tradition of posting house plans that I would build if the economy didn't suck and if I had lots of money I am submitting to you this european style house plan that looks cool in the snow:

european style house plan in the snow

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A Very Sexy Madone

Lance 's return to cycling is something that I am sure many people are watching with anticipation and curiosity. He is one of the greatest if not the greatest cyclist of all time. Personally, I like to see the equipment Trek is setting him up with. Here's a few links to pictures of his new Madone in LIVESTRONG colors:

http://trekroad.typepad.com/trekroad/2009/01/delivery-the-bike.html

http://www.theroaddiaries.com/?p=258

It took 30 hours to paint the bike and it shows.

I have to also say that after watching cancer have such a terrible impact on so many people I also admire Lance's efforts to promote cancer awareness.

Here are the numbers painted on the bike: 1274 - The number of days Lance was "retired". 27.5 - million people is the approximate number of people that died from cancer during that same time.

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Snow and Rain

I just manged to get the kids in bed. It's 9:00pm. I started at 6:30. I'm sitting here watching the rain letting my brain idle for a few moments until I get back into write code.

It's a bit odd that its raining given that it is January. Over the Christmas break we received treacherous amounts of snow. Maybe it was like this when I was a kid and I just don't remember, but it sure seems like the weather various a lot more these days.

I don't really mind. I don't love the cold. Christmas is over spring can come.

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The binding argument of #concat is no longer needed

If you upgrade to Rails 2.2.2 and start getting "The binding argument of #concat is no longer needed" then wherever you do something like this:

 concat(content, block.binding) 

change it to this:

 concat(content) 

The 'block.binding' argument is no longer needed which is nice because who really wanted to type that over and over again anyway.

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Shoulda Craps out on Rails 2.2.2

I tried the latest shoulda on luvfoo a while back and it died on the internationalization stuff so we gave up. Turns out that with the new internationalization in Rails 2.2.2 shoulda is dying again. I know the code is free and shoulda really is a great project, but I think this shows why you have to be very careful about what 3rd party projects you include in your software. All of us using shoulda are now in a holding pattern until we get an update.

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New Diet

I now weigh 165lbs which means I've lost 5lbs. The secret to my diet success is what I like to think of as the consultant stress plan. If you want to loose weight I highly recommend it. It is a simple combination of not sleeping and not eating. You'll be thinner in no time.

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So I am a Big Geek

I had to reboot the server in my office closet this evening. That's when I realized that I am a really big nerd. I have a server in my closet with RAID 5 to backup the other computers in the house. I have so many now that I actually have to count them to remember the exact number. Sitting on top of my server I have a rack mount server that is just sitting there. I keep thinking I'll do something with that someday.

The computers are only a small part of the equation. As I rebooted the server I looked around at the stacks of Star Wars Legos. I've collected them for years. I love Star Wars Legos. (I am even geeky enough to know that 'Legos' isn't the actual term and that Lego zealots will throw a fit, but I like the term Legos and this is my blog.

Completing out my geek license is the fact that I have an enormous tub full of cables, circuit boards and electrical components that would put Radio Shack to shame. I pay the outrageous cable prices simply so I can get th...

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The Nutcracker

We took Aubrey, Alyssa and Jenna to the Nutcracker Monday night. It is part of our effort to expose our children to culture. Devin doesn't like ballet and utterly refused to go.

Once we were there I sat next to Aubrey. She had all kinds of questions and comments. Why is there a giant Nutcracker on the curtains? When does the Nutcracker come out? There are a lot of kids. I like the girls in the purple dresses. Why is daddy surfing the net on his phone and eating tic tacs?

Callie asked the girls what their favorite part was. Aubrey said she liked the clowns, Alyssa liked the sugar plum fairy and Jenna liked the dew drop princesses. I like the Arabian princess. During that part I was really enjoying ballet and thinking that I was very cultured.

It was fun. The girls clapped like pros. We'll probably go again next year.

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Maybe I Should be a Computer Tech

My wife's computer finally died. I mean really died. For about ten minutes I could push the power button and it would just barely turn on and then it would immediately shut down. Then it stopped turning on all together. It is an old Dell Dimension 8400. There are two things that can go wrong with these things. (OK, there are like a million things that can go wrong, but these computers have two that go wrong a lot). The first one is that the power supply goes bad. The second is that the capacitors on the mother board self destruct. If problem number two happens then unless you are really good with a soldering iron you need to recycle your computer and look for some killer deals. If problem number one happens then got to Newegg and find a cheap 350 Watt power supply. Mine cost $13.

We lucked out that the power supply was the problem. I don't really feel like adding more computers at the moment. I have more computers than children. That isn't right.

The joy of my tech support ...

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Top Ten Reasons to Use Windows Vista

I have a mac. I love my mac. I run VMWare so that I can use Windows as needed like when I need to test Internet Explorer because apparently a lot of people out there are still using it. Who knew?

At any rate I have a free copy of Windows Vista Ultimate edition that I got for attending a Microsoft developer conference. I thought I would give it a go. You should too.

Here are my top ten reasons to use Windows Vista:

  1. Your blood pressure is to low and you are feeling adventurous
  2. You need a divorce so you install it on your wife's computer
  3. You are the IT support guy at work and you want to get fired
  4. Life has lost all meaning
  5. You really associate with that nerdy guy on the Apple commercials
  6. You have way to much free time and you like to wait around for your computer to do really hard stuff like open your email
  7. You enjoy click on I agree, OK, Yes please allow, Yes please !@#$!@ allow the stupid program to open, access the internet, save a file, print, ...
  8. Hey, its better than having bamb...

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Thanks Expercom

I bought an STM bag about a week ago and took it on one trip. When I got back the shoulder strap had a huge tear in it. I'm not especially rough on bags. I basically carried the thing around. The first time I called Expercom they told me that I needed to work it out with the company. However, the next day I got a call from the owner. He told me to just bring it in and they would take care of it. I took it in today. They didn't have a similar bag to replace it with so they gave me credit for the torn bag and a discount on a BrentHaven bag. Its nice to have guys that will take care of you.

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Words Fail Me

http://www.kutv.com/content/news/watercooler/story.aspx?content_id=fb5ec53b-e22b-47eb-8a03-0d06ad4c4fbf

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STM Bags Suck?

I am hoping this is an isolated instance. I went on a business trip this last week to Chicago. I didn't have a laptop case so on Monday I rushed down to Expercom to buy something. They sell STM brand bags. The 'medium alley' bag looked decent so I picked one up. One day into my trip into Chicago the padding on the shoulder strap had already ripped to the point that it was almost torn from the strap and the other side had already worn through.

I called Expercom and they told me tough call the manufacturer. I sent of an email to STM but their warranty states that you have to send in the bag at your expense. The bag is brand new! I paid $50 bucks for the stupid thing and now I am basically stuck with crappy merchandise. That is the last time I will be purchasing from those guys.

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New Apple Laptops – I’m so Excited

I've been wanting to buy a Macbook pro for a while now. I hate to be yet another one of those Apple nuts but I have been waiting for Oct 14 ever since the rumor came out that Apple would be announcing new laptops on that date. Since they hadn't said anything I was getting nervous, but it is official:

http://www.appleinsider.com/articles/08/10/09/apple_to_hold_special_macbook_event_october_14th_after_all.html

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Cycling Reduces Your Risk of Cancer

So says a new study by some Swedish guys. Unfortunately, increases your chances of running into a rattlesnake by nearly 1,000%.

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Ways to Not Make Use of Your Health Insurance – Cyclist vs. Rattlesnake

Over the years I have seen a couple of bike wrecks. In one the rider's frame was snapped in half and he took a LOT of skin off his back. It was a good thing he had a helmet. It cracked, but probably saved his head. The other wreck was the Cache Valley Century. At the end a couple of doctors I was riding with managed to bust up a rim pretty good, but came out ok.

I have long worried that someday my turn would come.

Today it did.

I am a pretty cautious rider. I don't like wrecks. I don't like hospitals. I don't like needles. I don't like surgery. I got a good dose of all of that today.

This morning I woke up early to go ride with Joel. I was debating taking arm warmers. They are extra bulk, but the cold (50 degrees I think) made me wear them. I was freezing, but you warm up when you ride. Turns out that today was a really good day to have them.

I like to ride with Joel. We chat about technology ideas, business ideas, and how those ideas relate to education. It was dur...

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Relativity

Time can suck. Ten minutes worth of programming is nothing. It will pass so quickly that you get nothing done. Ten minutes at the dentist which is where I am this very second passes so slowly that you feel like you are spending a eternity in the seventh level of hell.

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My Truck Got Old

When I was in high school I drove a 73 Chevy Pickup. It was actually my grandmothers. It had a 350 V-8 and flushed gas like a toliet. I used to fill up the tank for $15. I always thought of it as old. I filled up my current truck the other day. It cost me $115. I realized that when I was in high school (90's) my truck was just under 20 years old. I now drive a 95 Ford F-150. It is now 13 years old. Granted it isn't as old as my truck from high school, but it is getting close. 1973 used to seem like so long ago. Hard to believe that 1993 all of a sudden seems like so long ago. At some point my truck got old.

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Outsourcing My Religion

I got up at 6:30 am this morning so that I could serve in what is know as a 'calling' in my church. I have done this for two years now.

Anyone that knows me knows that I don't get up at 6:30. Sometimes I stay up and work until 6:30, but I don't get up at that time. That is unless God wants me to. Thus, on the 'day of rest' I drag my butt out of bed way to early in the morning so that I can go and do something else I never do - take notes by hand. I have used a computer for so many years now that I can type like mad, but I can barely use a pen. My signature is just a bunch of loopy lines and no one and I mean no one can read what I write. However, I take notes because that is my religious duty.

Truthfully, I don't mind it so much. I get to associate with people who are far more righteous than me. I keep thinking some of that spirituality will wear off on my, but it doesn't really so I have decided on a new course of action.

The latest trend is outsourcing...

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Ajax calls using jQuery in Ruby on Rails

jQuery is the hot javascript library and it is small and it is cooler than Prototype, the default library that comes with Ruby on Rails. Ergo I plugged it in and pulled out everything else. The ajax calls are very simple and look like this:

 $.post("function_name",{ key:value } ,function(data) { // do stuff with data }); 

The problem is that you will start seeing 'ActionController::InvalidAuthenticityToken' and your ajax calls will fail.

Here is a very elegant solution.

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Watching for Signs

I wrote this on May 11th but never got around to posting it:

We took the kids to Thanksgiving Point yesterday to look at the gardens. They had a great time. Whenever we travel through the Salt Lake area it seems that my wife has a $10 coupon for JCPenny that "would just be silly not to use." The signs were not in our favor and we ended up down a dead end road. We turned around and made our way through some of the darker areas of that part of town until we saw a lot of cars and chose to follow them. That led us to the store. Who says following the crowd doesn't work? We made it to the mall just before closing. All the kids needed to use the facilities at that point so at 10 at night we hauled all the kids into the store so they could pee. As we stepped in the front door our quest was almost over before it started. Right as we walked in the front door there was a sign that said 'Restrooms'. We started walking down the short hall but there were only two doors and nei...

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Watching for Signs

I wrote this on May 11th but never got around to posting it:

We took the kids to Thanksgiving Point yesterday to look at the gardens. They had a great time. Whenever we travel through the Salt Lake area it seems that my wife has a $10 coupon for JCPenny that "would just be silly not to use." The signs were not in our favor and we ended up down a dead end road. We turned around and made our way through some of the darker areas of that part of town until we saw a lot of cars and chose to follow them. That led us to the store. Who says following the crowd doesn't work? We made it to the mall just before closing. All the kids needed to use the facilities at that point so at 10 at night we hauled all the kids into the store so they could pee. As we stepped in the front door our quest was almost over before it started. Right as we walked in the front door there was a sign that said 'Restrooms'. We started walking down the short hall but there were only two doors and nei...

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What Makes You Yawn?

Aubrey's teacher asked her students to draw a picture of what makes them yawn. Aubrey drew a picture of herself doing homework. I feel the same way.

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What Makes You Yawn?

Aubrey's teacher asked her students to draw a picture of what makes them yawn. Aubrey drew a picture of herself doing homework. I feel the same way.

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People for the Ethical Treatment of Yeast (PETY)

The next time you take a bite out of that yummy loaf of bread consider where it came from. Sure, cutting down all that nasty wheat is harmless enough. After all it's just a stupid plant. It doesn't have feelings. However, consider the condition of yeast.

Here is how yeast is brought to market:

How would you like to live in those conditions?

After that kind of treatment being introduced into a warm, nutrient rich environment like this: [![Bread Dough][3]][3] I am sure feels like heaven.

[]: http://www.flickr.com/photos/jasmic/302657002/

but next comes this: [![Bread Oven][4]][4] at 450 degrees. I can hear the shriek of millions of individual yeasts shrieking out in terror like Joan of Arc as they face their final moments in a fiery furness.

[]: http://www.flickr.com/photos/bastian/2125007811/

So next time you eat this: [![Bread][5]][5] Just think of the millions of dead bodies sacrificed so you can have light and fluffy bread.

[]: http://www.flickr.com/photos/hlk/389341090/...

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First ride on the new Madone

I brought my bike home from the shop and in spite of the fact that everyone was eating dinner by the time I got home I gave in and went for a ride. You can't just bring it home and let it sit. Here's the pictures.

Justin leaving on new Madone 6.9

 

Justin standing by new Madone getting ready for first ride

 

More Justin standing by new Madone getting ready for first ride

 

More Justin standing by new Madone getting ready for first ride

 

Justin getting ready to ride away

 

Justin on bike looking contemplative

 

Justin looking at camera while standing on bike getting ready to say something

 

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Winter Was Hard on us Both

I have had colds off and on over the past few months which gave me a great excuse to ignore my bike trainer and be lazy. I had no idea just how bad it had gotten. While sitting in my office chair writing code this morning I hear a loud CRACK... and fall backwards:

broken office chair

I'll be headed to Staples on Monday to get a new chair and out on the new bike to lose some weight.

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Winter Was Hard on us Both

I have had colds off and on over the past few months which gave me a great excuse to ignore my bike trainer and be lazy. I had no idea just how bad it had gotten. While sitting in my office chair writing code this morning I hear a loud CRACK... and fall backwards:

broken office chair

I'll be headed to Staples on Monday to get a new chair and out on the new bike to lose some weight.

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Our First ‘Phone Call’

My daughters are in kindergarten this year. Today we got our first call from their teacher. Apparently, Aubrey pinched someone. Callie said that Aubrey realized when her teacher called and ran and hid under the bed. I guess she had to 'pull a card' at school which is a lot like being sentenced to 15 to 20.

I asked her what she did wrong and she wouldn't answer. Then I said that instead of pinching perhaps we need to enroll her in karate so that she can learn to fight properly. I don't think Callie was amused.

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Our First ‘Phone Call’

My daughters are in kindergarten this year. Today we got our first call from their teacher. Apparently, Aubrey pinched someone. Callie said that Aubrey realized when her teacher called and ran and hid under the bed. I guess she had to 'pull a card' at school which is a lot like being sentenced to 15 to 20.

I asked her what she did wrong and she wouldn't answer. Then I said that instead of pinching perhaps we need to enroll her in karate so that she can learn to fight properly. I don't think Callie was amused.

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Lifetime Marriage

In church today an older lady stood up and said she was grateful for her marriage of 60 years. I was impressed. I think that the divorce today tends to discourage people from believing that they can spend a lifetime with another person. It seems rare to find a couple that has been together for 60 years not just because of divorce but also because of health. Whenever I see a couple that is celebrating half a century together that accomplishment feels far more significant than all the awards, the academic degrees, or political achievements one can accumulate.

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Our Tax Date

Tonight was the first time since September that I and Callie have been alone, together, outside of the house. We were able to spend 15 minutes eating a Quiznos sub in a gas station in Tremonton, UT. After that we visited our accountant (The best accountant in the world - Michael Bruce in Tremonton) and did our taxes. I know that everyone already knows this, but I am sure my wife will tell you that I am a hopeless romantic.

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Our Tax Date

Tonight was the first time since September that I and Callie have been alone, together, outside of the house. We were able to spend 15 minutes eating a Quiznos sub in a gas station in Tremonton, UT. After that we visited our accountant (The best accountant in the world - Michael Bruce in Tremonton) and did our taxes. I know that everyone already knows this, but I am sure my wife will tell you that I am a hopeless romantic.

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A Killer iPhone App

I am not great at meeting people especially at conferences. However, the biggest reason to attend a conference is to meet people. (If you think you are paying $1500 to learn about how Rails routes work then its time to rethink your life.) iPhones may not be ubiquitous yet, but they are popular enough that some social networks have started targeting them specifically. When bluetooth was born free thinkers imagined a meetup system that everyone on the network would use. Just set your phone to 'meet me' and you would find yourself swamped with babes in no time. 8 years later the network never emerged. The prospect of opening yourself up to anyone on the street was a little much to bear even by the dandiest socialite. Like so many other things in life - generic development platforms, my education, etc - the idea lacked context. Context sells.

Back to the iPhone. The phone has wifi. There is a sweet SDL available. Here goes. Build a rich 'intro to the virtual me' application...

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Family Search Conference

I am at the FamilySearch conference at BYU today which means that I had to get up at 5:30 this morning which is one my least favorite things in the world. Luckily caffeine is my friend and I managed to stay awake for the drive down. I did discover this morning that my truck's top speed is 75 MPH and that it is scary to drive it that fast.

Here are some highlights from the keynote.

Ransom Love is talking about Social Networking and is showing Geni, FamilyBuilder, WorldVitalRecords - especially their Facebook application 'We're Related'. All of these companies have open and collaborative technology, use social networking and focus on family relations and because of that formula are extremely successful.

Guesses there are 70 billion records in the world and they have 6 billion records and 3 billions images in the 'vault.' Over half of all children have no official record of their existence. What they currently have will require about 24 petabytes of storage. Record...

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What Do You Want to be When You Grow Up?

My Nephew's preschool class recent took a field trip to a local store. They went to the bakery and saw the big mixers and how donuts are made. They toured the meat section where they had some interesting machines and I am sure the rest of the store. Gadgets have an effect on guys at any age.

When he got home Owen said, "when I grow up I want to wrap meat." I guess the meat wrapper was the highlight of the trip.

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What Do You Want to be When You Grow Up?

My Nephew's preschool class recent took a field trip to a local store. They went to the bakery and saw the big mixers and how donuts are made. They toured the meat section where they had some interesting machines and I am sure the rest of the store. Gadgets have an effect on guys at any age.

When he got home Owen said, "when I grow up I want to wrap meat." I guess the meat wrapper was the highlight of the trip.

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The COSL Guys are Disgusting

First there was the joke about bacon chocolate chip cookies. Sure somebody did it and it was funny. Then Jeremy actually made them and brought them to game night and people ate them. Thinking about it makes me dry heave.

Now Tom brings us Mini Mos (chocolate) bacon bars. My stomach may never recover.

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Weddings So Totally Suck

Weddings suck. Everything about them, surrounding them and having to do with them is really quite inane. Although I am sure I will take a lot of crap for writing this which may or may not result in a dissolution of a certain matrimony which required such an event, I am going to do it anyway. Honey I am so sorry in advance. Having put up with one wedding I pray I never have to do it again.

Marriage bliss begins with the ludicrous purchase of an overpriced rock from a fancy store that is every bit the opposite of the war torn country that forced slave labor to dig in the mud from whence said rock came. Of course this tradition dates all the way back to the 20th century when Dabeers decided it needed to suck blood out of every poor sucker in the western world (figurative blood) as well as every poor sucker in Africa (actual blood). In Utah where the couple is typically more or less right out of high school this purchase will help them to start their future off right by placing them in sig...

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Wife Got a Temporary

Every three months my wife spends $60 bucks on this nasty smelly treatment called a 'permanent'. It makes your hair curly. My question is, even though at three months it outlasts most celebrity marriages can it really be a called a 'permanent'. Shouldn't it be called a 'temporary'?

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Target

On the way back from Salt Lake we stopped at Target because we always do - there isn't one in Logan. Target is a more interesting shopping experience than Walmart. Target has stuff that is more cosmopolitan than us country bumpkins be gettin at Wally World.

One of the things they have, that I love is Harry and David Moose Munch. That stuff is awesome, but is so Calorie dense that a mere handful contains enough energy to feed a child in a third world country for a year. No wonder people hate America. I ate most of a 900 Calorie box on the way home.

While hanging out in the candy isle looking for a, no way is any of the ingredients in this thing found in nature, candy, Hello Kitty bracelet for my daughter, the woman standing next to me asked if the Valentine sports thing she was holding would be an appropriate gift for a guy. Given that I don't care for much sports I was about to say I have no idea, but she was nice and looked like she needed help so I said, "sure. That'...

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Target

On the way back from Salt Lake we stopped at Target because we always do - there isn't one in Logan. Target is a more interesting shopping experience than Walmart. Target has stuff that is more cosmopolitan than us country bumpkins be gettin at Wally World.

One of the things they have, that I love is Harry and David Moose Munch. That stuff is awesome, but is so Calorie dense that a mere handful contains enough energy to feed a child in a third world country for a year. No wonder people hate America. I ate most of a 900 Calorie box on the way home.

While hanging out in the candy isle looking for a, no way is any of the ingredients in this thing found in nature, candy, Hello Kitty bracelet for my daughter, the woman standing next to me asked if the Valentine sports thing she was holding would be an appropriate gift for a guy. Given that I don't care for much sports I was about to say I have no idea, but she was nice and looked like she needed help so I said, "sure. That'...

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Adult Breakfast Cereal

No not 'adult' I mean grown up. These kinds of cereal are easy to recognize in the store. They are on the top shelf well away from where the kids can yell, YUCK! They are typically boring - no shapes, no colors, no blatant sugar coating. I say blatant because like so many guilty adult pleasures the treat is hidden.

When I started trying to lose weight, my friend and dietitian Lee told me to check out the cereal I was eating. What you will find is amazing.

My Nature Valley granola bar cereal that costs something like a million dollars for a tiny box has 230 calories. that is a really big bar of chocolate worth of calories. It claims to be '100% Natural'. The second ingredient is corn syrup. I know it comes from corn, but it is not natural.

My super healthy 'Go Lean' Kashi comes in at 190 as does my help me poop right Raisin Bran. Throw some blueberries on there like they show on the Kashi box and you may as well have another candy bar.

So why does my kid's su...

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Watch Your Roomba

We left the Roomba on its own to vacuum again tonight. I had to rescue it from under the table once since the chairs were playing pong with it. For revenge the Roomba like a diabolic, mechanical dog decided to eat the curtains again. Who needs pets? Bad Roomba.

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Jeremiah was a Bullfrog, Lucifer is a Cat

Whether I like it or not my daughters are big fans of the Disney princess world.

I am realizing that most things around here are whether I like it or not.

Anyway, the have seen Cinderella 1, 2 and 3 multiple times. Tonight they were telling I and Callie that they learned about Lucifer today in sunday school. I am sure there teachers enjoyed arguing with them. Lucifer is the cat in Cinderella not the devil.

Tonight at dinner they were chanting Lucifer, Lucifer, Lucifer - kind of freaky - then was a cat.

I don't think TV has any influence on kids at all.

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Indulgenc.es

My second Facebook application is up. I and Marion built something to help you and your friends enjoy the lighter side of life. Try out Indulgences.

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Top Selling Stuff on Amazon Brings Tears

I am always looking for a deal so I keep trying to find one on Amazon Grocery. The problem is that you can waste a lot of time trying to find something you would really buy.

So I try the top sellers page:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/bestsellers/grocery/ref=sv\_gro\_1/104-6217951-1925564

Notice the top sellers are baby items, coffee and diet pills (at least they are right now) and deep in my heart I have to feel bad for all the mothers who are up late with the kids and trying to lose weight.

No wonder we are a Prozac nation.

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Top Selling Stuff on Amazon Brings Tears

I am always looking for a deal so I keep trying to find one on Amazon Grocery. The problem is that you can waste a lot of time trying to find something you would really buy.

So I try the top sellers page:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/bestsellers/grocery/ref=sv\_gro\_1/104-6217951-1925564

Notice the top sellers are baby items, coffee and diet pills (at least they are right now) and deep in my heart I have to feel bad for all the mothers who are up late with the kids and trying to lose weight.

No wonder we are a Prozac nation.

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Facebook 50 Years From Now

I didn't build this and I don't know where it came from but a friend sent it and it made me laugh:

Facebook In 50 Years

Update: Here's the original from StraightFromMyBrain.com

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My Wife is Better Than Your Wife

It really is true. My wife IS better than your wife. Want proof? Here it is: [![Panasonic Plasma TV - TH-58PZ700U][2]][2] 58" of pure Panasonic Plasma goodness and she wanted it as much as I did. Ya, my wife is better than yours.

Panasonic Plasma TV - TH-58PZ700U

(I'll post some install info later on.)

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Just Funny

I am writing code and my wife is singing this to my son, "I'm a little stink pot short and stout when I let it rip it all comes out. I'll knock you over and you'll pass out."

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Fashion can be Funny

I have noticed a lot of women in camouflage pants lately. I think this is the latest fashion or maybe they wear it because they are trying to hide something.

My bet is that there is a group of fashion designers somewhere in New York. They get together and have coffee and laugh, A LOT. I guess the conversion goes something like this:

"So Domenique, you win again. I did not think you could pull off the pancho thing, but that was awesome."

"It was Enrique, and this year I think we should go for the Halloween look. I bet we can get moms to wear what they dressed their boys in last year. Camo anyone?"

Take a look around next time you are shopping and notice that Enrique won that bet.

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Salt Lake City Drivers

We are headed to Salt Lake this friday for a wedding (yuck). However, I am thinking that this will provide and opportunity to go to my new favorite bike shop (Contender Bikes yeeeah). I am reminded of our last trip down. I don't like driving along the Wasatch front (Salt Lake area). It feels like you are going to battle. You must be on high alert at all times and watch for jerks just ready to cut you off or run you down. I sound like an old man. Anyway my stress level is already high while I am driving which makes me grouchy and I really do feel like my car should be equiped with various armaments because some of these people really ought to be removed from the gene pool. Did I mention that I was grouchy when I drive down yonder?

So last time we are driving and my wife yells.

This scares the hell out of me because I figure we are about to die. I just know that the semi to my right is moving right into us.

She continues yelling, "that guy. Driving the car next to us. Just picke...

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Salt Lake City Drivers

We are headed to Salt Lake this friday for a wedding (yuck). However, I am thinking that this will provide and opportunity to go to my new favorite bike shop (Contender Bikes yeeeah). I am reminded of our last trip down. I don't like driving along the Wasatch front (Salt Lake area). It feels like you are going to battle. You must be on high alert at all times and watch for jerks just ready to cut you off or run you down. I sound like an old man. Anyway my stress level is already high while I am driving which makes me grouchy and I really do feel like my car should be equiped with various armaments because some of these people really ought to be removed from the gene pool. Did I mention that I was grouchy when I drive down yonder?

So last time we are driving and my wife yells.

This scares the hell out of me because I figure we are about to die. I just know that the semi to my right is moving right into us.

She continues yelling, "that guy. Driving the car next to us. Just picke...

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All the Dinosaurs are Killed

The other night I am trying to get Jenna to go to bed which is not easy to do. I almost get here there when she sits up and says, "Dad I want to tell you something." I say, "OK". She says, "all the t-rexs are killed." Then she says, "a meteor came and killed all the good dinosaurs food. All the dinosaurs are killed and they aren't coming back."

After that she went to sleep so I guess I can't complain.

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Jenna Again

Nature calls to Jenna frequently in the middle of the night. The other night she got up used the facilities and then went back to bed. If the kids so much as cough Callie wakes up so of course she was awake for this event. After Jenna had gone back to her room she came back in our room and says to my wife, "Monsters aren't real." Callie, replies, "no dear." Then she went back in laid down and fell asleep.

I've concluded that Jenna doesn't actually sleep. She goes on pause. Bump the pause button in anyway and her brain is back on processing a million items from every memory she has ever had. We'll have to be careful what we let her watch on tv. I wish my computer would wake up as fast.

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Kids learn fast

So my wife bought my daughters some simple math books. They have add and subtract etc in them. Callie came upon Alyssa, she is 5, working in one of the books for fun and was happy to see she had made it through the simple problems with ease. We haven't spent much time teaching them match yet so she figured she was doing quite well. Then she noticed Alyssa had started into the harder problems, 5 9 etc, and was surprised to see she was getting the correct answers. Amazed she continued to watch to see how it was that she was working out the math problems. Inspite of the fact that our kids have never had any exposure to textbooks, Alyssa turned to the back of the book, found the answer and then copied it into the correct location.

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Well you’re a genius

I like to listen to NPR on the way in to work. This morning they ran a piece discussing what is Genius. It was especially interesting since it the commentator pointed out that genius is not merely a factor of IQ. Marilyn vos Savant holds the record for the highest IQ, 228. However, the commentator pointed out that her skills don't necessarily represent genius. She chooses to spend her days writing a column for Parade magazine. Instead, genius is a factor not only of intelligence but also of contribution. Most of the individuals we regard a genius don't have the highest IQs and didn't always show great promise as children (Albert Einstein), while many child prodigies grow up to lead unremarkable lives as adults. The part I found amusing was that level of education rarely indicates level of intelligence. The commentator pointed out that the closer one gets to PhD level the less likely you are to be someone other consider a genius. This is especially true in the art world, but ...

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who knew?

I grew up in Idaho. It is a great place, really. There are LOTs of places to visit where for and entire day you can wander through the wilderness and not see another soul. It is great. Then there are those who have spent to much time wandering around by themselves. Here is the scoop from the tv weatherman in Pocatello. You read it here. The Japanese Mafia is controlling the weather.

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